Mirkin Topp and the Hair of the Dog

A NaNoWriMo Novel by Phil Gardner

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I live in Brighton, work for the NHS, and write endless stuff online.


'Mirkin Topp and the Hair of the Dog' is a novel I wrote back in November 2004 as part of the National Novel Writing Month, an annual scheme which challenges people (or fools, depending on your point of view) to write a 50,000 word novel from scratch in just 30 days.

This is the result.

Or rather, the first ten chapters of the result. Even I have a limit to the amount of dodgy material I'm willing to inflict on the worldwide web.

It's the true story of Mirkin Topp's incredible journey south across the Aero Plains, over the Bear-Faced Mountains, and through the Viktoria Wood to the Lords Prairie, then onwards to The Implacable Maw to face The Hooded Donkey in a deadly game of Kerplunk for the right to take the hairy puppy Luv back to Roi Castle to make a wig for the balding King Pip the Fantabulous.

Well ok, maybe it's not actually true. But it does feature swashbuckling adventure at the hands (well, claws) of Giant Mountain Geese, clairvoyant bears, runaway yetis, and a plumber called Dave. Not to mention a ventriloquism act by the name of Lip Trembling Len & his Gabbling Gottle o' Geer. So it's quite profound. And it has a lot of hippo references.

Anyone wishing to offer me vast sums of money for the right to publish this masterpiece, or its sequel 'Mirkin Topp and the Bee in the Bonnet' (which doesn't actually exist, but could do, given 4 weeks notice), can e-mail me by clicking on the button to the left (the one that says 'E-mail Me', not the one that says 'I Power Blogger').

Alternatively you can visit my Home Page by clicking here, or read a day by day account of the writing of the novel by visiting the November archive of my blog, Mulled Whines, here.